Feb 1: Broward Bob

Sometimes it's wise to follow traditions. But sometimes you must boldly blaze a new path, carving out traditions of your own. Which brings me to Groundhog Day ... not the film but, yes, the tradition. Because tradition has it that Punxsutawney Phil emerges into the light of day from a long hibernation every February 2. (This much you probably know. However, a brief recap can't hurt for those unfamiliar in the ways of weather-predicting rodents.) You also may recall that if Phil sees his shadow, then the northern world is in for six more weeks of winter. If Phil looks at the ground but can't find his adorable Phil-silhouette, hey, good news! Winter's almost over. Uh-huh, ok. I've always thought this was kinda cute. But, really. What type of weather predictor is a furry little guy with a bad case of bed-head?

So this February, a new tradition is born right here in Broward County, Florida. Listen, we need something to lighten things up after weeks of presidential primary campaigning, believe me. Besides, I figure that I'm at least the equal of Punxsutawney Phil when it comes to predicting the future, weatherwise.

Thus we announce Phil's replacement: I am Bob. I live in Broward. Hence, the clever name of Broward Bob. How do I come up with this stuff? But seriously, folks, I am offering my prognosticating services starting today and on an annual basis each February - assuming everything works out with my prediction for 2012. I predict that it will work out. I also predict that the normally cold northern regions have not seen the last of this bizarre winter. It's warm up there, then it's freezing. It's snowy, then it's not. Just too weird. And that means it will stay weird to the bitter end. Yep, I'm seeing into a future with a late winter/early spring snowstorm for sure. A big one, just when everyone thinks warmer weather is right around the corner. I arrived at that carefully reasoned conclusion through a long series of mathematical calculations based on the experience of a lifetime. Well, actually I figured all this out by walking onto my patio yesterday here in South Florida, whereupon I felt a coolish wind coming out of the north. And I thought to myself, "Ah-ha!" There was no need for mathematical calculations at that point ... because I knew. I instantly understood that this 2012 winter is merely teasing the good residents of Chicago and New York, Toronto and Montreal, etc. It is lulling them into a false sense of security only to deliver a good hard wintry wallop. Don't ask me for any more details about how I know this with certainty. I just do. Who asks Phil to explain his shadow, huh? Of course I could be wrong. But I doubt it. Based on these reliable Bob predictions, wise northerners should book their airline tickets to Fort Lauderdale for around mid-March. They also should plan to hang out in the sunshine for a while after their arrival - maybe 10 days or so. After such a massive snowstorm, nobody will be flying anywhere up north for a while. You can trust Broward Bob on this one.