Billy Joel performed in my backyard - almost literally. Yep, right here in Dania Beach, well within earshot of my condo. The funny part is that I not only missed it, but also wondered about all the racket outside. Sigh. This is not so much funny ha-ha as it is funny boo-hoo, of course. About as amusing as a good whack on the funny bone. But it is a most curious little tale for sure. You see, celebrities come and go in South Florida constantly, even in the hot summer months. Sometimes they're here to shoot films and TV series, sometimes they just stop by for some good R&R. Residents like me often read newspaper blurbs about this one being spotted at a local restaurant or that one being spotted on the beach or some other one being spotted on Las Olas.
It's no huge surprise that the Piano Man was in town. I'd even heard about some of the recent Billy Joel sightings. But a week ago, he turned up where no one expected him ... at the Dania Beach Vintage Motorcycle Show. This event is held about a five minute walk from my home and draws bike enthusiasts from all over.
So here was the scene, according to one reliable account: Billy wanders through the crowd of fellow motorcyclists, just looking at the vintage machines like anyone else. Apparently, nobody really had any idea that he was who he was. Not yet. Sounds like Mr. Joel was very low-key about the whole thing. But then, he hops up on the stage with a local band called the Whipping Post. And he turns to the lead singer, Bob, and asks if he can jam with the guys. Can you imagine? I've played in many local bands over the years - and if this had happened to me, I'd have had two reactions. First, I'd have stared at him without a word like an idiot. Second, I'd have recovered quickly before he changed his mind so that I could stammer something like, "Uh, YEAH! Jam away!" He sang three songs in Dania, none of them his own compositions. And here is where that funny-sad part comes in for me. I remember hearing the band through my open windows briefly around this time and thinking to myself, "Hey, what's with all the loud music? Sheesh!" Sheesh, indeed. I mean, there's this world-famous entertainer, the creator of some truly great pop songs, singing for free - outside my windows! And what do I do? I want him to turn down the music, that's what. Oh well. The story goes that Billy signed autographs and posed for some pics following his mini-show. Then he wandered off, jumped on his bike and drove into the afternoon. How cool is that? I guess I can honestly say now that I've heard Billy Joel perform live, huh? And I can add just as honestly that I was sitting inside my condo at the time. And when I tell this story to my friends, the rest of the details will be nobody's business.
(Photo courtesy of Astrid Stawiarz / Getty Images)
Sometimes it's wise to follow traditions. But sometimes you must boldly blaze a new path, carving out traditions of your own. Which brings me to Groundhog Day ... not the film but, yes, the tradition. Because tradition has it that Punxsutawney Phil emerges into the light of day from a long hibernation every February 2. (This much you probably know. However, a brief recap can't hurt for those unfamiliar in the ways of weather-predicting rodents.) You also may recall that if Phil sees his shadow, then the northern world is in for six more weeks of winter. If Phil looks at the ground but can't find his adorable Phil-silhouette, hey, good news! Winter's almost over. Uh-huh, ok. I've always thought this was kinda cute. But, really. What type of weather predictor is a furry little guy with a bad case of bed-head?
So this February, a new tradition is born right here in Broward County, Florida. Listen, we need something to lighten things up after weeks of presidential primary campaigning, believe me. Besides, I figure that I'm at least the equal of Punxsutawney Phil when it comes to predicting the future, weatherwise.
Thus we announce Phil's replacement: I am Bob. I live in Broward. Hence, the clever name of Broward Bob. How do I come up with this stuff? But seriously, folks, I am offering my prognosticating services starting today and on an annual basis each February - assuming everything works out with my prediction for 2012. I predict that it will work out. I also predict that the normally cold northern regions have not seen the last of this bizarre winter. It's warm up there, then it's freezing. It's snowy, then it's not. Just too weird. And that means it will stay weird to the bitter end. Yep, I'm seeing into a future with a late winter/early spring snowstorm for sure. A big one, just when everyone thinks warmer weather is right around the corner. I arrived at that carefully reasoned conclusion through a long series of mathematical calculations based on the experience of a lifetime. Well, actually I figured all this out by walking onto my patio yesterday here in South Florida, whereupon I felt a coolish wind coming out of the north. And I thought to myself, "Ah-ha!" There was no need for mathematical calculations at that point ... because I knew. I instantly understood that this 2012 winter is merely teasing the good residents of Chicago and New York, Toronto and Montreal, etc. It is lulling them into a false sense of security only to deliver a good hard wintry wallop. Don't ask me for any more details about how I know this with certainty. I just do. Who asks Phil to explain his shadow, huh? Of course I could be wrong. But I doubt it. Based on these reliable Bob predictions, wise northerners should book their airline tickets to Fort Lauderdale for around mid-March. They also should plan to hang out in the sunshine for a while after their arrival - maybe 10 days or so. After such a massive snowstorm, nobody will be flying anywhere up north for a while. You can trust Broward Bob on this one.
Picture your swimsuit - you know, that one that makes you look pretty darned good. Now imagine it frozen inside a huge cake of ice. Why do this, you ask? Because that's more or less the situation your swimsuit is in these days, assuming you live somewhere north of the Florida state line. Your swimsuit may as well be encased in ice because it's stuck in those c-c-cold northern climes and you can't wear that swimsuit any time soon. Unless ... Unless you come for a visit somewhere south of the Florida state line, preferably so far south that there's not even a theoretical possibility of real ice. Here in Greater Fort Lauderdale, ice is good for one thing: to chill down your margarita. Yes, in this part of the world your swimsuit will most definitely unthaw. It will have the chance again to do what swimsuits like to do - swim.
The good people who promote tourism for Greater Fort Lauderdale have been trying their best recently to tell winter-bound northerners about this idea. The South Florida folks display a big cake of ice with a bikini frozen inside it. Then they show it to some of those northerners to remind them about the condition their own swimsuits are in at this time of year. That's the pitch. "Defrost Your Swimsuit."
Clever. The tourism officials have been all over the place with those iced bikinis. Toronto and New York City, Even merry olde London, England. Though not the coldest winter on record by any stretch, this has been a strange winter ... and still cold enough to keep those swimsuits far away from the water. I just checked the current weather as I write this blog on Monday morning: Toronto, 32 and cloudy; New York, 35 and partly cloudy; London, 39 and fair. Brrr. Sounds way too cold for swimming unless you have white fur all over your body. And here in South Florida? It's 72 and mostly sunny. Now that's more like it. The "Defrost Your Swimsuit" promotion even has a contest you can enter to win three nights in the luxe Atlantic Resort & Spa, airfare for two, a fine dinner and a spa treatment. To try your luck, click here. Or you can download a free app for your iPhone at http://www.sunny.org/apps. You'll get a smile by putting your own photo into a virtual block of ice, which of course promptly melts to reveal a pic of you-know-who on the beach. All fun stuff to help you get through your wintry winter. Hey, you'll make it. The first day of spring arrives in only ... well, maybe you better not think about this yet. Just look at that photo of you on the Fort Lauderdale beach, imagine all the sunshine beating down on your body and pray that the Contest Gods will smile upon you.
As you may or may not know, we're into the Chinese New Year now. Kung Hei Fat Choi to you! South Florida is a long, long way from China, which I can assure you from personal experience. Only a flight from Hong Kong to Florida can make you understand just how far. I'm already booked on another long flight later this spring back to China - Shanghai, specifically, then on to Beijing and other points in northern Asia. I love Asian cultures. Their food, their music, their history, their languages. And their dance. In this Year of the Dragon, you have the chance here in Fort Lauderdale to experience a striking piece of that culture. Shen Yun is a top classical Chinese dance company that will give three performances on February 10 and 11. Click here for more information.
What better time of year could this troupe possibly pick to visit us? From our perspective, this stop coincides wonderfully with the Chinese New Year. From their point of view, it lines up perfectly with some of South Florida's best weather. Win-win, for sure. This should be an amazing show if you can swing the tickets.
Shen Yun draws on the traditions of a culture that is some 4,000 years old. You can expect not only classical dancing pyrotechnics but also Chinese songs, instrumental music, costumes and more. So over the next couple of weeks, why not get in the proper mood for Shen Yun's appearance at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts? The Chinese New Year celebration lasts until just a few days before the dance company arrives. Get some takeout kung pao chicken, perhaps. Learn how to correctly pronounce Kung Hei Fat Choi and say it to everyone you meet. Work the color red into your wardrobe at each opportunity. This is a time to have some fun. I've been in Singapore during Chinese New Year, Hong Kong immediately after the holiday ended. Those folks were having fun, believe me, and the party didn't stop with the sounding of the last New Year's gong either. I offer this tidbit of info to encourage you to carry your Year of the Dragon festivities right on through to the Shen Yun show. As someone born in another Year of the Dragon, I certainly plan to make the most of this joyful early 2012 holiday. And so I offer you one more Chinese phrase that you may find highly useful during this period: "Gan bei!" You pronounce it by saying, "gahn bay!" And you say it in a bar. And if you want to know any more than that, there's always Google.
Something about the sunshine makes us want to show off. South Florida is packed with the flashy - people, animal, plants. I see it all the time but this struck me again yesterday when I was at the beach. I watched an attractive young couple, probably in their early 20s, as they stepped on to the sand. They weren't going swimming, just taking a stroll in their shorts and t-shirts. The moment the guy took a few strides up the beach, he peeled out of his shirt to show off a physique I can only dream about having. Who could blame him? Then there are the joggers who very clearly make an effort to display their best bodily attributes to the world. You'll see lots of these folks up and down A1A.
The girl in the bare midriff top that reveals her great abs, the dude in the tight cycling shorts that encase his impressive backside, etc. etc. Or maybe they're showing off some talent - the rollerbladers who skate tight loops across the street from a crowded café, the sprinters who seem to only run at top speed ... at least whenever they're passing onlookers.
It's all amusing to me, the way human beings strive to be admired one way or another. But the sunny, warm South Florida climate encourages these more obvious forms of self-promotion. When you don't have to wear a lot of clothes, new opportunities present themselves. Even our animals and plants are pretty darned showy. How many places in the world have wild parrots with brilliant green feathers, birds that constantly squawk for attention when they fly? Or acrobatic squirrels? I'm not kidding about this. I've watched our thin little South Florida squirrels make heroic leaps from one tree to another at heights of at least 30 feet, covering a span of maybe 12 feet from branch to branch. Hey, it sure got my attention. As for the plants, whoa. Just take a good look around. The other day I walked by a bougainvillea that was enormous, all bursting in fuchsia blossoms. This plant must have been some seven or eight yards wide - spectacular. Just down the street from this shrub was more bougainvillea, smaller but equally colorful plants in purples and pinks. Greater Fort Lauderdale is a tropical place of flowering jacaranda and backyard bananas and huge coconuts, showoffs all. The flash is a real part of the South Florida experience ... and why not? As the saying goes, if you've got it, flaunt it.
You'll find many types of men in South Florida. Many types of women too. Trust me on this point - after more than 22 years in Greater Fort Lauderdale, I am pretty sure I've had conversations with at least one person in every category. This is a diverse place. But I've just read a fascinating piece of information about our local male residents. Some of us are sensitive. Very sensitive. Yes, it's true actually, something I can verify because I too am a sensitive male. Very sensitive. As they say, it takes one to know one. The new information, however, suggests that a single community in all of South Florida has the lock on male sensitivity. You ready? Pompano Beach. Not only is Pompano Beach the bastion for male sensitivity around these parts. Much more than that. This fun beach town has the most sensitive men in the entire U.S. Click here to read the article.
Wow, who'd have thought, right? That reliable and profoundly scientific fact comes courtesy of www.Chemistry.com, an online dating site. Not that they're looking for free publicity or anything, mind you. No, this is science we're talking about here. Just ask Dr. Helen Fisher, their "Chief Scientific Adviser." She's the, uh, scientist who reported this probing bit of research.
I am pretty sure I know the exact formula she used. Mathematically, it can be expressed as: M + D + H = S. With M representing "Map of the United States" and D meaning "Dart" and H being "Hand." Grab a dart, toss it at a map and, oh yeah, you have S, which represents "Sensitive-males." I actually drove through Pompano this morning, looking for all these touchy-feely dudes. I did see one guy watering his grass and another carrying a baguette, both signs of real male sensitivity for sure. Otherwise, I can't say with certainty. I suspect that Dr. Fisher may have overlooked some even more sensitive cities in Greater Fort Lauderdale, to be honest with you. Like, well, Fort Lauderdale. You see, Pompano tends toward macho in some ways - guys hanging out at Irish bars before kite surfing near the pier. Rugged, manly. Fort Lauderdale attracts an artsier crowd, fellas who sip pinot noir before attending a performance of "Jersey Boys" at the Broward Center. In my sensitive way, I can feel the empathy within the men of other nearby areas as well ... Hollywood, for example, and Wilton Manors and even Dania Beach. Hey, don't laugh - I live in Dania Beach and, as mentioned, I am very very sensitive. So, sure, if you're in search of a sensitive male by all means check out Pompano Beach. You will find some, no doubt. I'm only saying that you may want to broaden your hunt to include other spots in South Florida. There are a lot of us around. Now, if you'll please excuse me, I must go now. After expressing so much sensitivity in this blog, I need to pour myself a glass of pinot for lunch.
The dictionary defines renaissance as a rebirth or revival. As any reasonably educated school kid could explain, the era known by that name is among humanity's glories. The Renaissance was our shift from medieval superstition to a more modern understanding of the world, a time when painting and sculpture and architecture and science flourished. So I guess it's no surprise that some of us like to recall this period - maybe even sample it as best we can from time to time. One fun way to do that is by attending the big annual Florida Renaissance Festival, which runs locally this year from February 11 through March 11. That's five weekends right here in Broward County. It is the 20th edition of this popular party in the park, another opportunity for us all to munch a giant turkey leg, ogle some wenches and catch a jousting match or two.
Now there's a phrase you don't often get to write as a blogger, one that includes turkey legs, wenches and jousting. Well anyway, the Renaissance Festival is a laidback hoot of a day whether you bring the family or go with friends. Or maybe check it out solo if you like. You'll have plenty of company, that's for sure. Once again the fest will be held at Quiet Waters Park in Deerfield Beach. Find lots of the details at this website: http://www.ren-fest.com/deerfield-home.asp
If you've never been to the Florida Renaissance Festival, let me explain a little more about it. You see, the event tries to give festivalgoers some feeling for that long-past era in a lighthearted, almost tongue-in-cheek way. There's a carnival atmosphere, with scores of people dressed in period costume - not all of them paid workers either. A fair number of visitors get into the proper spirit with jester hats and long gowns and such. Mixed among all this wacky merriment is some very good entertainment, including singing groups and magicians. And lots of jousting. This time around, the Florida Renaissance Festival even offers themed weekends. For example, March 3 and 4 is the "Wenches Weekend," followed by what's called, "Battle Weekend - Arms & Armor." Hey, no one said the Renaissance was exactly a peaceful period in history. All in all, all five weekends should provide good times, good laughs ... and some good food. A hoot, as I said. Really, how else are you ever going to have a chance to post a Facebook update about turkey legs, wenches and jousting? It won't happen every day, I promise you.
I'm just back from a lovely brisk walk around my neighborhood. The air was fresh and cool this morning. As usual, South Florida proved to be a great place to get outdoors for some exercise. Many areas of the world aren't like this, believe me. (You may well be looking out your window right now, wherever you are - maybe in the northern U.S. or in Europe or Canada. And you may find yourself agreeing, "Yeah, dude, I know!") I lived in Vermont for 14 years, a state where many days don't exactly make you feel like a long walk. So it's, well, fitting that there's a new health promotion here called "Fit Lauderdale." Really this is simply a collection ideas for getting in shape, suggestions for better fitness. And links to websites and businesses that may help you. Yoga anyone?
These ideas cover a broad range of possibles, from salsa lessons to running a marathon, from playing tennis to meditating on the beach. You'll find links for bicycling around Broward, links for hiking through our parks, links for swimming and surfing and paddleboarding. Even links for links - as in golf. Speaking of links, one click will bring you to the long list of suggestions for getting fit through Fit Lauderdale: http://www.sunny.org/fitlauderdale/
There's no question that South Florida inspires many of us to greater fitness. It's that kind of community. Just visit the Fort Lauderdale beach some morning to see what I mean. I've blogged many times about the tight bodies you spot jogging like mad on the sand or bicycling like mad along A1A or paddling boards like mad out in the Atlantic. Only yesterday I stopped downtown for a haircut and coffee and couldn't escape the joggers even there, people loping down the sidewalk among the tall buildings. You see exercisers everywhere around Greater Fort Lauderdale. Obviously, the weather is a key factor in all this. When most days of the year are sunny, you can head out the door to walk or run or bike or whatever else almost any time. Whenever it's convenient for you. Simple. Add to that the sheer number of fit and attractive people around this community, both male and female, and you have - voila! Inspiration to exercise. No kidding, just hang at that beach for a while. Motivation will go sprinting past you, over and over and over. This is not to say you need to compete with these fitness devotees, of course. No one says you have to go sprinting alongside them in order to find your own level of fitness. All any of us must do to feel more comfortable in our bodies, I suspect, is honestly decide it's time to make that happen. Maybe Fit Lauderdale will help.
So then the young guy continues chatting about the wealth around town. "It's amazing," he says, "Lamborghinis, Rolls, Porsches. You see them everywhere." Their conversation turned to something else after this, computers or whatever. I had the feeling they both were techies of some kind. But I found the comments interesting.
When you live here, you sometimes forget about all the luxury that is woven into the fabric of today's Greater Fort Lauderdale. Until you stop and look around - maybe after overhearing comments by some tourist. Expensive cars and expensive homes. Expensive shops and expensive restaurants whose patrons are the folks in those expensive cars and homes. It really is amazing when you take it all in, just as the young man said. That's why a tour along the rivers and canals in Fort Lauderdale is a must for any visitor. It gives you a view of that money you won't see in any other way, all the waterside multi-million dollar mansions with all their multi-million dollar yachts. This is something to see, to experience, to smile at or laugh at as you choose. It is one face of South Florida. The truth is that this is a truly diverse community. Culturally, racially, economically diverse. Every other car is not a Mercedes or BMW ... or Lamborghini or Rolls-Royce or Porsche. It's simply that there are more of them here per capita than in most other places you'll find in the world. Whatever our feelings about Wall Street or the 1% or anything else, most of us have some fascination with fabulous wealth. We may never have it ourselves. We may not even want it. But we have to admit that, yes, it's amazing. The money is just another of the many elements that have created the unique vibe you feel in this part of the world. I suspect that Gus and his buddy could care less about owning one of those Lamborghinis - but they sure seemed to enjoy looking.
Everyone makes New Year's resolutions, right? Well, not everyone. I don't. But ok, let's just say that almost everyone makes New Year's resolutions. So why shouldn't cities make resolutions for a better 2012 too? They should - at least I think so. Therefore as the public-spirited chap I am, I've decided to pick a few great cities and offer each of them one simple idea for the New Year. No charge. I've selected places that send Greater Fort Lauderdale a lot of tourists annually, mind you. Folks up there obviously like it down here. I can offer these northern cities a South Floridian's viewpoint about the single thing they need to compete with Greater Fort Lauderdale for those precious discretionary dollars. Let's start with the great metropolis of Detroit. I'm from Detroit originally, still root for their sports teams (Go Lions!) and really love the people there.
And so what does Detroit need that South Florida already has? Palm trees, of course. Palm trees would add a touch of romance to Woodward Avenue like nothing else. Look what they do for us. A moonlight stroll along the beach in Fort Lauderdale to the gentle hiss of swaying palm fronds - there's no experience quite like it. Maybe the same would work along the Detroit River, with a romantic view of Windsor, Ontario over the water. Hey, I'm just saying.
Then there's Chicago, another city I know and love. My mother and other family members live in Chicago as do some of my very best friends. But compared to Greater Fort Lauderdale, Chicago is missing the boat in at least one important way. So for 2012, I'm suggesting that Chicago should make a pitch to attract lots of boats - cruise ships, I mean. I'm talking about major cruise ships, the huge liners like we have here. Listen, you Chicago guys already have a lake. True, it's not the Atlantic Ocean but it's big. Very very big. And grand-scale cruise ships have worked wonderfully in Fort Lauderdale, as you know. They attract thousands and thousands of passengers each year to Port Everglades, which is fast growing into the largest cruise port on earth. Maybe a nice big cruise terminal somewhere around the Navy Pier? It's sure one way to sell more hot dogs.
Finally, I want to offer my freebie business plan to the delightful city of Toronto. I've spent a great deal of time there and always enjoyed myself. An amazing place with gentle people. But there's one important thing that Greater Fort Lauderdale has and Toronto doesn't. Sunshine. I admit that this is a tougher nut to crack. I really can't offer much by way of specifics, I'm afraid, and you may have to settle for something less in the end. Overhead sunlamps up and down Bay Street? City-owned and operated tanning parlors? Hmm. Well, if you folks do figure it out, please give me a call so I can arrange another visit. All you need is more sunshine and I'll hurry right back to say hi. Meantime, I guess I'll hang in Greater Fort Lauderdale for the winter. I'll be able to see sunlight pouring through the palm trees today as I drive past the cruise ships docked at Port Everglades. Now that I think about it, I suppose no other city can quite match that, can it?